Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The day I got kicked out of Target

But, not really.

Most people know my love for Target. I went through a stage where I went there a few times a week, heck almost daily probably. But today, I want to share with you the day the earth stood still and I had.to.stop. Annnnndddd, go.

My side of the story.

Walking around, minding my dear own business. Sippin' on some delicious Fountain Mountain and enjoying my quiet two year old while she chomps on some popcorn. Did I mention she's being quiet?

Heaven. 

 Wee!

So we mosey our way to the children section (First mistake) bumping ever so lightly into the clothing racks because c'mon they're way to close anyways. Let's all agree to that can't we?
So I turn the corner, so close to the finish line out of the freakin' claustrophobic maze that is the Target children clothing section and *tap* yes, the teeniest, tiniest tap that anyone could make. I did.

BOOM



No joke.
Alright, it was just one rack (and a half) I looked up and some lady just smiled at me and I may or may not have dropped the f bomb, silently because well, my two year old was quiet and people would have heard me. I tried to pick it up, really but this piece of crap wouldn't for the life of me stand and well people were starting to look.
So I double stepped it to the nearest employee I could find... This is when it gets bad, no judgment okay? Are we swinging in the tree of trust right now? Yes, Okay.. I warned you.

"Hi um, my daughter just pulled on a rack and it came crashing down, I tried to pick it up but the rack can't stand up"


Yeah I threw my daughter, my heart and soul, the child from my loins..well not really, c section here, so.. the child who I let ruin my ab muscles-- under the bus. What?
 
I don't think he even listened, he heard crash and went running so I went on my merry way. What the heck else do you want me to do? So I went to the Halloween department, cussing myself out for wearing a V-neck because now my hives were extremely visible. Awesome, just awesome. I also apologized to my daughter and told her I'd buy her some candy. She just ate her popcorn and laughed at me.
Again. 
Awesome.

I throw some stupid Reeses no bake brownie something or other mix into my cart because well, now I had to buy something. I figured it was time to go (thank GOD) I'd made my way around the store and had to peek and see if they cleaned it up so as I'm walking by.. WHAT do I hear? Two employees talking... ABOUT ME! And, I quote...
"Yeah she pushed it over and ran off on PURPOSE. Seriously it took him hours to fix it and like five people to clean it up. It's broken now, she didn't even offer to help or pay for it."

Um, alright.
1.) Maybe it was broken first and that's why my tap pushed it over.
2.) I did try to help, home boy ran off before I could add any other assistance.
3.) Hours? Okay I know I'm slow and out of shape but my pity lap around Target was minutes, not hours.
4.) Forget you, I was probably the biggest highlight to the WEEK, if not MONTH thank you very much. You're welcome for the gossip.

*Snaps across the face*
Giiiiirl. 
End scene. 


So there you go, I didn't get kicked out but I didn't show my face for a while, luckily there was another store across town that I could get my fountain mountain and quiet baby fix.

Target, if you're reading this go ahead and email me for gift card compensations for my suffering.
And the five pounds I gained from Reeces no bake pity purchase.

42 comments:

April @ PolkaDots n' PinkySwears said...

HAHA! You had me rolling at the end! It may have been because it reminds me of similar personal experiences! ....that made my morning :)

Kathy@ Gone North said...

You are a hoot!! & Yes... that is why our children come to us small... we can use them for a few years to excuse our mishaps...
And seriously... I knocked over a whole display of wine... & Yes..they smashed all over the floor & No.. there were no small children with me at the time to blame it on...

Jami Nato said...

I'm liking these 'personal' blog entries, my friend...PROPS.

Cheryl E. said...

Haha too funny! I do love me some Target but those employees should have totally not been talking about you. That is just very unprofessional. And you cant help it that your "daughter" did that :)

james @ agirlcalledjames said...

oh man. i don't think i would have been able to contain the embarrassment long enough to make a lap and then buy something.

Katie said...

Ahahaha!! That is so hilarious! Dramatic teenage Target employees - I doubt they had anything else to do! And your little gal cracks me up! Hahaha!

Comeca Jones said...

Too funny!

Shelly said...

Love it!

Melanie said...

you...crack...me....up....girl...friend...... Glad to see Rachelle coming back a bit!


Smiles,
Melanie

Reasons To Skip The Housework {The Blog}
Tinker B Boutique {The Shop}
{The Email}

Kim said...

So funny! I had a similar experience but my son actually did do it. It was a round rack and he DID turn it over. Was very embarrassed at the time but I got over it quickly. Your version was hilarious and I agree the employees of Target should not have been talking about you!

Rebecca @ My Girlish Whims said...

this post was TOO funny

sorry to laugh at your pain. lol :)

Katie said...

sorry you had to go through that, but i must say, i loved reading about it :) too funny, definitely laughed out loud reading this one! fingers crossed for your next trip to target!

Rachel said...

Haha, this is so funny. I have definitely been there. It reminds me of the time I went shopping on Black Friday(http://linesacrossmyface.blogspot.com/2011/06/black-friday-more-like-brown-friday.html)

And the whole story was probably the most interesting part of their day so they should thank you.

Megan said...

I'm am laughing aloud right now! That's when you pray the ground opens up an swallows you whole. Thanks for the laugh!

Jess said...

I had to take my kids to Hobby Lobby with me and my 5yo daughter has this thing with walking backwards. Talking to me behind her and continuing to walk. No matter how many times I ask her not to, she does it over and over again. So she backs into a display of huge cast iron floor ornaments that some idiot set up to fall like dominoes. Huge crash, 10 things fell over, and she ran into the bathroom so I am standing there trying to pick them up when the store employee shows up. I told her about my daughter and she gives me this "yeah right" look.

Laura @ live.laugh.photograph said...

lol this is hilarious!! i bet they were a bunch of teenagers who over eggagerate EVERYTHING huh?

Oh well, sh*t happens you know? And if you did push it over, why would you continue shopping? that's so funny!

Amanda Jones said...

What really irritates me about this story is the fact that if your daughter had pulled it down (and they didn't know that she hadn't) she could have been hurt very badly and none of them bothered to ask. You kept your cool very well. I can't say that I would have done the same. :)

Meagan at Fairly Fabulous Blog dot com said...

haha- I love your writing style. HA! Guess it just goes to show- everyone loves gossip...and a good 'fish story'. If it were me, I probably would have walked up to the gossiping employees and corrected their timeline just to embarrass them for getting caught gossiping about a customer who was standing RIGHT there!

Indiri said...

Hehe. They are lucky you weren't having the kind of bad day to set em straight. LOL. On the bright side I guess both you and the gossiping ninnies both have fun stories to tell.

Karen At Home said...

OMG, I am cracking up!!!! I agree with the above comment though because I was thinking the same thing.....if your daughter had pulled it down, they should be more concerned about her well being!!!

We both share a passion for Target girl, that is for sure, nothing could keep me away, even falling clothing racks!!!

I hope you are doing well, been keeping you in my prayers.

Karen

Keriann said...

Oh my gosh I laughed so hard I think I might of peed! (children from the loins here. 9+ pounders at that) The funniest is part is that I can totally see myself in your shoes! Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

Carole said...

I seriously snorted when I read "Are we swinging from the tree of trust here?" Bwahahaha!!!!

Cottonwood Tales said...

Love it....so glad you are laughing again....

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

You probably gave those kids enough drama to last them a week. Just think of it as providing a service to workers who would otherwise be bored out of their minds. I would have b*tched to the manager. ;)

Katy Apicello said...

Hahaha! Best blog post ever. :)

MamaBug said...

Laughing 'cuz that's me but with a popcorn trail all around the store from my boys spilling it all.
And those Reeces were FLIPPIN' DELISH! Wish I had bought more!

Matt Miner said...

Hilarious post! But I am so sorry that happened to you. If it was me, I would've been mortified to the point of sweating and I doubt I would've bought anything...I just would've run. Good luck going back.
~Trina

Michele Alger said...

Okay, I have to say the whole story was fun and intriguing...I'm stuck on the fact that you ran to the...HALLOWEEN SECTION?! WHAT?! I had to keep reading the date of the post on this. WOW!

P.S. You're my type of Gal. Compenstation is DEFINATELY in ORDER!! LOL

CathyB said...

I just love you! You make me laugh every time I come here to visit. I came to check up on you and you have this crazy, hilarious story-love it! Laughter really is the best medicine (and maybe some Reese's Brownies to accompany it!)

Sarah @ The Bird's Papaya said...

funniest story ever.

I'm surprised they didn't go a little nuts saying sorry that it fell, imagine it fell ON you or your daughter? can I hear a lawsuit?! Seriously...nothing should fall over that easily. You were justified.

Teddie Seeley said...

Ohmygawd!! That was just too funny, and throwing your kid under the bus, I think every parent can relate.
I would be curious as to why the shopper that smiled at your mishap, didn't run over to help you? Tsk, tsk, us Target shoppers need to stick together.
Your daughter looks like a little spitfire, you owe her one mom.
Hugs,
Teddie

Randi~Dukes and Duchesses said...

That is just hilarious!!

motslm said...

I laughed til I cried reading this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Two Thirty Five Designs said...

Holy Moly.... I am laughing SO hard!!

Brooke said...

I'm new to your blog...great reads. I literally busted out laughing on this one. Being a mother to 1 but a nanny to 3. Oh the joys of rounds in Tar-je :o) I think we all have these moments and days. It gave me a good laugh! Especially the "snaps." Take care!

May Flower Mama said...

LOVE your Target story!!! And YES they do have those rounders way to close together!

Christine said...

Too funny!! I broke a bottle of carbonated water at Trader Joes the other day all over the floor. Had no little one with me to blame it on :-(
You remind me of a thing that happened to me once. I had a bag of clams to steam and I needed some white wine. So I took my very rambunctious 3 year old to the liquor store across the street. He was a wild man in the store, running through the aisles (after my warning to behave). I should mention that I was wearing a quilted flannel shirt and was visibly pregnant. So, I made my purchase and walked out of the store scolding my son. I look up to see 2 women, mouths agape, staring at this rough-looking pregnant chick, holding a bottle in a paper bag, yelling at her kid. As I walked off, I'm sure that they thought I was heading to the alley behind the store.....

Kasey said...

Oh that's awesome. Okay. Maybe not for you. For me it was awesome. It made my day. Haha. :D

Lisa said...

hahaha! Oh my gosh, how embarrassing!

One time I was at Homegoods and I was looking through the racks of framed wall art. They shove those things in there so once you start browsing, you can never get them to go back the way they were before. I tried to make sure all the art was going to stay when I walked away. But 2 seconds later, it all came crashing down! Everyone turned around to look! I couldn't go back for a few weeks after that and now I still get nervous when I look through the art.

Kate said...

Hahaha! You crazy girl! You're right, I'm sure you were the talk of the day....

B said...

Freakin hilarious!!! :)

Kirsten @ Mushki Loves said...

Oh my gosh! That is way too funny! I love it! You made my morning! :)
-Kirsten

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