Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Lots of words

Alright ya'll I've tried to write this about three million times so I'm warning you right now this could get lengthy, and it might not make sense..In this silly brain it does though.. Let's go with it. 

In the past 16 weeks this is what I've learned.

  • When something devastating happens I'm not the strong woman I thought I'd be. More like, crawl in a hole and wear the one Tshirt that was left here and never wash it so his smell wont go away type. Gross. I know. 
  • It took 10 weeks for me to cry it out. Literally, randomly all day long.
  • My family is amazing. Especially those who sat around with me when I wasn't exactly glamorous. (Nasty old tshirt anyone? Yeah..sorry.) Not to mention my house was a wreck.
  • My children are wise, wise wise beyond their years.
  • Having a true friend to call all day long helps. Especially when she knows how you feel. Let's encourage her to come chat it up with us. She's seriously the scorned wife whisperer. Ha. That'll be her book title when it comes out, just you wait. 
  • I'm going to get a little spiritual here so if that isn't your cup o' tea bear with me. The Lord, help me prayer is about the only one I said for 10 weeks. Just that. "Help Me!" And you know what? He did. If this little bump in the road was my test and taught me anything it was to let go of control! Rachelle, knock it off! You can't control what someone else does. You control yourself and yourself only, let the big guy deal with the rest. It works out.
  • Follow your gut. If your intuition is telling you something is off, it probably is. 
  • Nothing, nothing is too broken to be fixed. Sometimes it takes the leap of faith and saying, okay. I'm giving it up. I'm giving it to God. You fix it. It takes (me) 10 weeks to cry, another week to get angry and another to be at peace and do what YOU have to do to give it up, and let the person go. If it's meant to be they'll come back. God's got your back. Jump off the crazy train, make the drastic change and let go.
  • I'm a closeted Country song fan. Seriously they speak to me. Don't judge. 
So that's where it's at. Right now I'm happy, good things are happening. It took some drastic moves. It took some really really bad things to happen. It took some serious strength and forgiveness, it took faith that all those words that were spoken, all the hurt that was dealt, it had a meaning. Still working on that meaning but, I'm getting there.

28 comments:

Lisa @ Before Meets After said...

Rachelle, you may not think you are a strong woman, but you are! I am so glad that you are in a good place right now!

Cap Creations said...

Rachelle, I am very happy to hear you are doing better now. I will keep you in prayer. It's awesome that you have surrendered to God's will and are letting Him have control. May you have peace now that it's in his hands.

Deuteronomy 31:8
And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

I invite you to come by every wed. for our new "What do I know of Holy?" post.

Lish said...

Your right, a friend that understands and you can call no matter what... really is the best thing ever!!! I'm sure you are alot stronger then you give yourself credit for :D

The Balch Bunch said...

Im happy that you let Him take this burden from you. I am sorry that you have had this ROUGH time but you seem to be stronger than you thought you were! You can do this!

Comeca Jones said...

You my friend are right where you are supposed to be.Every ones process is different."He"wants you to have the best life and have it more abundantly.Walk in to your new life boldly."he" will be there to walk with you.

Rhiannon said...

so glad to hear you are doing better. you just have to go through the emotions, everything happens for a reason and if he brings you to it, he will bring you through it!

Brooke said...

It's good to hear that you're getting to the other side. Still so sorry for all the hurt you have to endure, and I hope that it doesn't have to last much longer. You are a strong woman, no matter what t-shirt wearing habits you may adopt ;) It takes time to grieve, and though you may think that those who seem to "bounce back" immediately are strong, all they're doing is delaying that grieving process. It'll hit them eventually, so at least you're strong enough to face the tough times head on.

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Bless you and those beautiful girls of yours. :) I can't judge your old t-shirt b/c I wore ratty old leggings around for more days than I care to admit last week!

Red Couch Recipes said...

So glad things are better for you. The Lord does comfor us and hear and answer our prayers. Wishing you well. Joni

Jamie said...

happy to hear things are better for you. be strong! we're here for you.
xoxo

Heidi said...

Hi! I am one of your readers and my heart is breaking while reading your blog today. It sounds way to familiar. I don't know any of your specifics, but know that I am praying for you and your girls! If you ever want to chat or a new friend to lean on...don't hesitate.

Someone else posted a comment with Deuteronomy 31:8...made me smile. My 8 year old daughter had that for a Bible verse in AWANA last year...kind of became my personal verse.

Much Prayers-
Heidi

Stacy said...

Rachelle! I love ya. I think about you and your girls off and on. I am so glad that you are close to the Lord. That is the only way to get through the really tough times. I am still praying for you!

BabiesandBargains said...

Listen to the song A little bit stronger by sara evans

Karen At Home said...

I have been thinking of you! You do whatever you need to do to feel better. I had to laugh at your post, I am a closet country music fan too! Listen to Carrie Underwood, she always puts me in a good mood!

Lisa, An American Mom said...

Thanks for sharing Rachelle. I dunno, you sound pretty strong to me right now. I hope you and your girls will be okay in the long run. It sounds like you will. And I am so glad you have support around you. It makes all the difference.

Hang in there.

Kelsey @ Tattered and Inked said...

My heart is breaking for you right now because a year ago, I was in this place where you are now. I know it all too well and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Although you sound like you're exactly where you need to be- in God's hands because he's the only one that knows you and him and your sweet family and he loves you more than you could possibly know. I found a book when I was going through my crisis called 'broken heart on hold' and it literally held me hand through it all. It reminds you where you need to look, it cries with you and it brings a little salve to your aching heart. If you get a chance to read it, I know you will dog-ear and most likely sleep with it jsut as I did :) You are loved and you are strong- and when you are not, God is strong for you. Love you girl and if you ever need to talk, just email me. You're not alone and there is always hope. Love you- wish I could give you a hug!

Jami Nato said...

i love the language you are using here. seriously, you've been listening. ahahahahaha...

ok, well i'm working on my essay. although i don't know...give me more direction. i've been writing one in my head, but it's all over the place. like me. in real life.

i love you. i've missed your phonecalls. but i love it because i know that things are probs on the upswing.

Catherine said...

I'm sorry to hear you have faced such difficulty in the recent weeks. It does sound like you are relying on the right One, along with dear friends. I pray you (and your girls) will be strengthened each day as you work through this.

Gypsy said...

Just think about the "Footprints in the Sand" poem - when there is only one set - He carried you. Happens time after time and He carried me through some really ugly stuff, He will carry you through too. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Beautiful lady. Don't you realize that a weak woman would still be in bed...that a strong woman is the one who figures out how to live and to get up...even if it sometimes takes a little time to get back to the real world (and a few showers.) No one ever said that the strong woman wouldn't be crying as she faced the world.
I'm so glad you've been posting. YIMP

SavannahGranny said...

Rachelle, I am so happy that you have given this to the Lord. He is the only one who can give you peace, solace and direction. It seems that you are getting there. God bless you. I pray for your spirital, mental and physical health.
Blessings, Ginger

Kadie said...

I am so glad to hear that you are doing better!! My heart breaks every time I think of your family going through this! I have been there and I would never want anyone to go through it! I know you will make it you are stronger than you think you are. :) I will keep you in my prayers.

Terri @ A Creative Princess said...

Rachelle, that was not a lengthy post, but a beautiful post. You've grown to let the strength of your children and God guide you and that's what you need right now. Just keep in the right direction you've learned to follow now and everything will work out. We don't know the answers, God will answer in His own time. Hang in there, sweetheart. you'll be okay.

Laurie said...

I'm so very sorry you have been hurt. It hurts my heart and makes my gut feel punched and hollow to picture what you describe. God bless you, friend. Thank you for sharing with us. I am so thankful you have come through what you have to get to where you are now. We are here for you. Saying prayers for you and your family. I know God is using this in your life and that of your family to bring good ultimately. Much love and many bloggy hugs sistah!!! Love Laurie from Scene of Sublime
sceneofthegrime@yahoo.com
http://sceneofthegrime.blogspot.com

Ann @ makethebestofthings said...

Sweet lady, you are stronger than you know. Your girls will remember that strength and how you took the time to deal then moved on. Sending many positive thoughts your way. Bless you.

Happy Gramma said...

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" You story sounds like one I have been watching 2 of my girls go through. I bought them each a silver bracelet with this verse engraved on it. They have never taken it of since I gave it to them! My prayers are with you!

janelle said...

hey, sodderbug here. made you a charm a while ago. i hope you and the kids are doing ok. i am so sorry... xoxo

Carmen @ Life with Sprinkles on Top said...

I thought of you the other day and wondered how you and the girls were doing. I haven't been doing much blog reading (or writing for that matter) lately. I'm glad to read that you're doing better. If you need a local friend to talk to, send me an email. ;) And if you don't have a church home, I'd love to have you girls as our guests sometime. :)

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