Monday, March 19, 2012

Holding on.

Baby, now don't look back
Don't let those feelings start
Don't let the line go slack
When you're pulling it all apart
How to describe the sky
Or dismantle a beating heart
Well we made it to our six month marker. I feel like I'm in middle school celebrating a milestone like that, please tell me you did that when you had a boyfriend back then. "honey! It's our 7 month 3 week and 4 hour anniversary" Oh you didn't? Yeah me either.
 We also don't go back to the locker "where it all started" like total dorks.
Anyways. I have all these "home posts" that I could share with you but sometimes something comes over me and I realize it's time to let it all out in one big non-edited spurt of reality. Because I'm nothing if not raw and real. ha! It's not like I haven't shared my marriage problems with half the world, why not a few thousand more. The way I see it, if God can redeem my marriage and make me capable of talking about it then if I can be that hope for someone, or the person that someone can email and say "me too, help" I'm grateful. My husband was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. How's that for truth. My marriage was the happiest and saddest thing that's ever happened to me. 
Why? That sounds pretty crazy huh? Because without seeing how bad it could be, I couldn't be this thankful for what I have now. For how good it can be. For what it is now. Without it being as bad as it was, I couldn't see how much we actually needed to fix.

The truth is, that this work is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. 

Because it's not human nature to put someone else first. Not natural instinct to put someone else's feelings above your own. And, it's definitely not natural in our generation to choose the road less traveled, the harder road that doesn't involve instant gratification. :) Not easy to forgive someone who hurt you to your core.

But, with lots of work comes lots of gratification. Somedays when I have my little breakdowns it's not even because I'm sad. I'm just so thankful. How did we even get here? It's almost unbelieveable to me that this could even happen. 
God definitely moved some mountains. I won't deny that.

That's all for now before I get weepy before bedtime. ;) 
Lyrics from David Gray "Holding on" He's kind of a genius.
Follow me on instagram! Fotfblog. All the cool kids are.. all two of them.
What to do when your world comes crashing down? I say it all the time but she knows her sh*t okay?


Ange said...

Wahoo! Celebrate girl! Those pictures made me insanely happy! For reals....I love it. :) You made my night with this post.

Anonymous said...

I'm holding on but on the other side of things still. Some days I'm not sure how many threads are left on the rope, it feels like it will snap and everything will fall apart. Most days I don't know which way is up. I understand the best/worst & happiest/saddest sentiments. I'm glad to see your marriage holding on, on the recovering side of things.

Also, six months in a high school relationship seemed like a huge milestone at the time, now six months flashes by...didn't I just buy my kids new clothes for changing weather? said...

Yay! You two are so adorable. I'm pulling for you!!

Just Simply Live said...

So happy for you guys. God is so amazing and AwEsomE!!!

Kathy said...

I like you guys:)

Jami Nato said...

amen and amen and amen. it's good and it's hard. otherwise we wouldn't need God, right?

Ami w/AliLilly said...

me too.... We've made it 5 years since the "bad" and everyday I'm just so happy with him. After reading this, I think I'm going to attack him right quick while he plays MW3. And I mean quick, I've got blogs to check out! ;)

Ami w/AliLilly said...

OH HEAVENS! by "right quick" I mean a kiss and an I REALLY LOVE YOU... I had to verify that...just in case. And Rachelle, I'm praying for y'all.

Anonymous said...

It's been 5 months for me/us and it was the 3rd time. Same person. This last time was the worse by far. How many times can someone break up with the same person only to go back at the first chance they get? How many times can they lie and how many times can you be fooled before it is enough? There are those who think I'm a fool for staying and holding on. Thank you for sharing the lyrics. It applies so well. And I admire your courage for sharing this with everyone. I did not have the courage. Still don't. Maybe one day. Just keep hanging on.

Heather McMullin said...

Marriage is work. Beautiful, lovely, amazing work, but work none the less.

This year has been the most difficult year of our marriage. This year my hubby graduated from MBA school, he got major back surgery, I had brain surgery, and we moved. Just to mention a few.

We are at a point in our marriage where we don't fight often, but this year we went through a couple months of fighting constantly due to the stress of our situation.

That is when I decided I needed to do better. I prayed and worked on myself being a better person and wife.

Here are some of the things that I did that made us stronger despite the turmoil.

-Txt him during the day just to let him know I love him.
-Expressed how much I appreciate how hard he works at his job.
-Thanked him for taking care of our little family.
-Every night when he gets home I make sure to drop what I am doing and give him a big hug and loving kiss. When I do that all the stress of the day just falls out.
-I am my husband's "girlfriend" Flirt, look nice, go on dates know the kind of things you did when you were dating. Cherish each other.

I could go on and on. The point is I make an effort and so does he. You are such a beautiful couple and I think every married couple understands what you are going through, because everyone does.

Listen to the song by Jason Mraz called I Won't Give Up.

Mushy, Mushy, I know, but love and marriage is worth the effort and saving.

Happy Friday Friend!!

lizy b said...

I'm a new reader, so not sure of the details....but I do know that God gives us the life lessons that we need..they're not always easy...but its our job to recognize them and do the work to become who we need to be. Keep up the good work, glad you're finding it so fulfulling!

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